


Sugar and Spice

by unacaritafeliz



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diabetic!chowder, F/M, Fake Marriage, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Nutritionist!bitty, Shenanigans, Some spoilers in these tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 21:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz
Summary: "I didn't tell him about you." Jack looks away from the camera, suddenly looking small. "What if he doesn't get it?""Jack," Chowder says, firmly. He waits for Jack to look back toward him. "You make him get it. You make him understand what happened and why. Let him meet me, and Farmer too, actually. We'll help him understand. But you gotta tell him, Jack, and it's gotta be sooner rather than later."[In which Chowder has diabetes, Jack does everything at 100%, Bitty never went to Samwell, and the boys would fall apart without Farmer.]





	Sugar and Spice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theblasphemouscontessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblasphemouscontessa/gifts).



> Sometimes your friend suggests they'd do some shady things for a certain fic and you've gotta write it yourself to protect them.
> 
> This fic takes place during Chowder and Farmer's senior year. Bitty never went to Samwell. Holster never went to Samwell. Chowder didn't meet Farmer until his sophomore year. There's more context you might need but I'll let you work it out as you go.

 

> **\---CHOW PATROL---**  
>  **Chow's Sugar Daddy:**  
>  Who's with Chow?
> 
> **Human Disaster:**  
>  Hey Cap! Thanks for asking about the game!  
>  It was a hard match, but we won.  
>  Whiskey got two (2) goals, and Tango got checked so hard he had to be removed from the ice  
>  but he's fine, don't worry about him.
> 
> **Chow's Sugar Daddy:**  
>  Nurse.
> 
> **Red Lobster:**  
>  Foxtrot is with him.
> 
> **Human Disaster:**  
>  They're going through your post-game schedule like we do  
>  Every.  
>  Single.  
>  Game.
> 
> **Chow's Sugar Daddy:**  
>  Good.  
>  Get Chow to call me.  
>  Tangredi, you need to call me too.
> 
> **Ex-LAX Sympathiser:**  
>  Does he ever half-ass anything?
> 
> **Chow's Sugar Daddy:**  
>  No.  
>  I mean, have you seen my ass?  
>  It's definitely not a half  
>  Also, good game Whisk :)  
>  I'm proud of you.

* * *

 Jack feels kind of dumb, standing at the door of Bittle's apartment holding a gift basket the size of Thirdy's daughter. Marty and Thirdy had forgotten to give it to Bittle at his farewell party yesterday and had ganged up on Jack to make him take it, despite it 1. it being a game day, 2. Bittle's plane leaving in a few hours and 3. the fact that out of the three of them, Jack had to go the most out of his way to deliver it. He'd protested, but they'd insisted, both with knowing grins on their face. Jack was a little too afraid of his co-captains to ask.

Jack shifts the gift basket into one arm. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. There's a scuffle behind the door before the door opens to reveal Bittle, in his shorts, a salmon pink tank-top and a huge grin. The sunlight filtering in through the windows behind him brightens Bittle's hair, turning it a shimmering gold. Jack wishes he had his camera with him.

"Jack Laurent Zimmermann," Bitty drawls, still smiling. "To what do I owe the honour?"

Jack pushes the gift basket toward Bittle. "The boys wanted to give you a little gift from all of us," Jack says. "As a thank you for all the work you've done as our nutritionist."

"Oh Lord," says Bittle, taking the basket from him with both hands. He ushers Jack inside and hip-checks the door shut. His cheeks are the faintest of pinks. They match his shirt perfectly. "Y'all shouldn't've. Really, this is too much."

Jack smiles, tucking his hands into his pockets. "It was the least we could do Bittle," he says as Bittle puts the basket down on his kitchen counter. "You've been such a huge part of the team for two years. You've been such a great coworker and friend... To all of us, I mean. Plus you worked pie into our diet plans - that's kinda legendary."

"Oh Lord, Jack Zimmermann, now you're gonna make me cry," says Bittle, rubbing his fingers under his eyes. He takes a deep breath. "Thank you. You boys have been so good to me. I'm gonna miss y'all, when I'm in Boston."

"Yeah, we'll miss you too," says Jack, seriously. The team is sure to miss Bitty. Jack knows that he will. Bittle was such a huge part of his first two years with the Falcolners and they've really gotten to know each other both at work and outside of it. Bittle's kind and funny, and he's made Jack a better player and a better friend. It'll be weird without him being around.

Bittle frowns and sighs sadly, before stepping forward to wrap his arms tightly around Jack's waist. Jack hesitates for a moment, he hasn't really been hugged like this since he graduated from Samwell, but recovers quickly, wrapping his arms around Bittle's shoulders. It's not as awkward as Jack was expecting it to be, instead it feels perfectly natural. It makes sense, since Bittle has been such a good friend to him.

"Bye Jack," says Bittle, softly.

"Bye Bittle," says Jack. "It's been great working with you."

Bittle takes two steps back, and sniffs. "Jack..." he says, softly, staring up at Jack with wide eyes. "Jack, I, uh... I guess the next time I see you will be on the TV, huh?"

Jack nods. "Yeah, I guess so," he says. "The same is true for the next time I see you, Mr. TV Chef, Eric Bittle."

Jack lightly hip-checks Bittle. Bittle laughs. "Lord," he says. "My own television show. I can't believe it."

"I can," says Jack. "You're a great chef, Bits. You deserve your own show."

"Promise me you'll watch it?" says Bittle, a little sadly.

"Every day," Jack says, seriously.

Bittle nods. Jack frowns. They stare at each other for a few moments. Jack feels like he did when he was leaving Samwell, with Shitty heading to Boston, and Chowder and the others staying behind.

"I, uh, I should pack this basket up," says Bittle. "My uber's probably going to be here pretty soon."

"Oh, yeah, okay," says Jack. "I, uh, should get to the rink anyway. Uh, bye, Bittle."

"Goodbye, Jack," says Bittle.

Jack steps outside the apartment, pulling the door shut behind him. He starts walking towards the elevators. His hands feel empty without the gift basket in them. He kinda feels empty too. He's never really been good at saying goodbye - it's why he's still in the Samwell group chats so often, even though it's been two years since he graduated. He supposes he can keep in touch with Bittle too, Bittle is always on his phone after all. Still it will be different, he won't be able to hang out with Bittle. They'll never skate together after practice, and they won't make pie together in Jack's apartment, and they won't pile onto the couch with the other Falcs in Tater's apartment to watch games...

Jack suddenly realises that he's left the building and walked halfway across the parking lot and that's not right. He turns around and races his way back into the building. He glances at the elevator, before running up the stairs to the second floor. He pounds on Bittle's door.

Bittle opens the door. He looks like he's been crying, his eyes are red and there are tear tracks on his cheek. Beyoncé is playing from the phone on his kitchen counter; that song that goes 'Halo, Halo'. Jack's heart threatens to burst from his chest.

He doesn't know how he didn't see it before.

"Jack?" Bittle asks, eyes wide. "Did you forget something? Honey, you're all out of breath, you could've texted..."

"Bittle..." Jack says, softly. "Bitty..."

Bitty bites his lip and stares at Jack. They stand there for a few moments, staring at each other, the room quiet except for Jack's breathing and Beyoncé singing. The song builds and suddenly Jack can't help himself. He bends down and captures Bitty's lips with his own. Bitty makes a sound of surprise, gasping against Jack's lips and Jack pulls back.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," he says. "I shouldn't have. I should've asked. I'm so sorry, Bitty..."

Bitty reaches up to grab Jack's shirt and hauls him back down to kiss him again. It's insistent yet sweet. Jack can suddenly tell that Bitty's been waiting for this for a while.

How didn't Jack know it until now?

Jack's phone starts buzzing. It's his pre game alarm, but he ignores it in favour of tilting Bitty's head, changing the angle, kissing him deeper. His phone keeps buzzing. Jack reluctantly pulls back, dropping his hands to rest on Bitty's shoulders.

"I gotta go," says Jack. "We got a game tonight, I gotta go."

"Okay," says Bitty.

"Boston's not that far away," says Jack. "I'll text you."

"Okay," says Bitty.

Jack doesn't turn around, he keeps his eyes on Bitty as he take a few steps backward toward the door. Then he steps forward again so that he can kiss Bitty one more time, just a short press of his lips against Bitty's. A promise for next time.

"I'll text you," Jack repeats.

He leaves the apartment.

Jack knows he's smiling like a goof the entire walk out of the building but he can't help it. He can't remember the last time he's felt so happy, so sure of himself and what he wants. He pulls his phone out to text Bitty, to reassure him, to tell him that he'll come up to Boston as soon as he can. He opens his texting app and stops in the middle of the parking lot.

He's got an unread message from Chris Chow.

Shit.

Jack needs to call his husband.

* * *

Chowder's in the zone. He's downed a can of Redbull, and banned Nursey, Dex and Farmer from his room so that he can finish his programming assignment and make it to tonight's mandatory Samwell Men's Hockey Disney Movie Night. He's working pretty well, his fingers flying across his keyboard to get the code written, when a Skype notification suddenly flips up on the screen. He's being called by Jack Laurent Zimmermann. It's a Wednesday.

The thing is that Jack never calls on Wednesday. Jack keeps to his schedule tighter than even Ransom does, and Jack always calls him on Sunday. If Jack is calling him on a Wednesday, then something has to have happened. Slightly worried, Chowder saves his code and accepts the call.

"Hi baby," Chowder says, smiling tiredly up at his camera.

On the screen, Jack's face is calm and relaxed, but his forehead is creased and Chowder knows him well enough by now to see know that something is wrong. He doesn't ask; Jack only opens up when he's ready too.

"Hey Chow," says Jack. "How have you been this week?"

"Good," says Chowder. "Nursey and I planned team movie night tonight, so I've been rushing to get some programming work before hand."

Jack nods, sharply, just once. "I won't be long," he says. "How have your readings been?"

Chowder wants to sigh. He knows how to handle his diabetes on his own just fine - he doesn't need Jack constantly checking up on him. Although, he supposes Jack does have reason to be invested. "No dramas," he says. "Blood sugar dipped a little low after practice on Monday, but the entire team threw their protein bars at me afterwards so I recovered pretty well."

Jack's mouth quirks up into the tiniest of smiles. "I've trained them well."

"It's a good thing they're all terrified of you," Chowder says, solemnly.

Jack huffs out a laugh before his face settles into something a little more somber. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"Jack?" Chowder says, softly, like he's talking to a baby animal that he doesn't want to scare away.

Jack looks up in to the camera. "Chowder... Chris," he says Jack. Chowder suppresses a wince at the use of his first name. It's never a good sign when Jack uses someone's first name. "I think I'm in love with someone."

There's a moment, the tiniest slither of time, when Chowder swears the world stops spinning. His jaw drops open in shock, staring wide eyed at Jack through the screen. He can't believe it, he'd never thought he'd see the day when his husband, NHL legend Jack Laurent Zimmermann, fell in love with someone else.

Chowder pouts at the screen. "Oh, Jack," he says, sadly. Then he laughs, smiling brightly at the camera. "It's about fucking time!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Jack smiles, rubbing the back of his neck. His face is red. It's simultaneously the happiest and most bashful that Chowder has ever seen Jack look.

Happiness is a good look for him.

"What's their name?" Chowder asks.

"Eric Bittle," says Jack. Chowder reaches for his phone and starts typing the name into his search bar. "He's a nutritionist. He's been working with the Falcolner's since before I graduated."

Chowder's Google search returns a link to a YouTube page titled OMGCheckPlease! Chowder clicks the link and is directed to what looks like a baking blog. The host - Eric, Chowder guesses - looks kinda preppy, with styled blonde hair, big brown eyes and a light blue bow tie over a teal button down. Chowder doesn't really think he seems like Jack's type, but then again, Jack doesn't really have a type. The only person he's dated before Bitty was Camilla Collins and...

OH, Chowder thinks. Maybe it's a blonde thing.

"Well, he's definitely cute," Chowder says.

Jack frowns at the camera. "How do you know that?" he asks.

Chowder rolls his eyes and holds his phone up to the camera so that Jack can see it. "Found his YouTube," he says.

"Oh," says Jack, leaning forward and squinting at the screen. "I... Can you email that to me?"

"It's literally the first hit on Google," says Chowder, rolling his eyes even as he sticks the link into an email and sends it off Jack. "Literally, why am I married to a grandpa?"

"Isn't being old like, a prerequisite for being a sugar daddy?" Jack asks, with a small smile.

Chowder laughs. "God, it's still so weird to actually hear you refer to yourself as a 'sugar daddy'," he says. "But, Jack, you gotta tell me more about this Eric guy. Who is he? What happened?"

Jack smiles and blushes again. Chowder grins at him. "Well he's our nutritionist, and he's a really sweet guy," says Jack. "Good at cooking, interested in hockey, kinda obsessed with social media but not in a bad way like Nursey. We became friends, you know? But like, he left Providence last week - he's hosting a cooking show in Boston, which is so amazing for him. It wasn't until he was leaving that I realised that I'm in kinda in love with him."

Chowder smiles at the screen. "That's gay," he says. "Cute, but gay."

"Chowder," Jack says seriously. "I'm bisexual."

Chowder laughs again. "So what happened when you realised you loved him?" he asks. "Did you tell him how you felt? Or did you let him leave you forever?"

Chowder sees Jack's lips moving, but no audio comes through.

"What was that, honey?" Chowder asks.

Jack buries his face in his hands. "I ran to his apartment and kissed him," he says, quickly.

"BOI!" Chowder yells. "It's always 100% with you, isn't it, babe?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Jack says, pushing his hands up his face and into his hair. He looks straight at the camera. "I didn't tell him about you."

"Are you going to?" Chowder asks.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess, but..." Jack looks away from the camera, suddenly looking small. "What if he doesn't get it?"

"Jack," Chowder says, firmly. He waits for Jack to look back toward him. "You make him get it. You make him understand what happened and why. Let him meet me, and Farmer too, actually. We'll help him understand. But you gotta tell him, Jack, and it's gotta be sooner rather than later."

Jack nods. "Okay," he says. "He's going to come back down in a few weeks to finish packing his stuff, so I'll tell him then. Then we can go out to dinner, the four of us, yeah?"

"Absolutely," says Chowder.

"Okay," says Jack. "I, uh, I'll let you get back to your assignment, but thanks Chow. I feel so much better."

"Glad that I'm finally contributing something to this marriage," says Chowder. "Feel free to call me anytime, okay, babe? Got your back."

Jack smiles. "Got yours too," he says. "Say hi to the team from me."

Chowder shakes his head as he hangs up and gets back to his coding. He's still kinda in disbelief. He can't wait until the rest of the group chat learns that Jack's in love.

* * *

As he listens to Jack cleaning up after dinner, Bitty's so overwhelmed with emotion that he's practically vibrating in his seat. He grabs his phone off the table and texts Holster, trying to dispel his nervous energy. He can't really believe he's here, in the dining room of the hot NHL star he's half in love with, midway through a meal said hot NHL star cooked after watching a highly rated prime time TV show that Bitty hosts himself.

It just seems too good to be true.

"Okay so the lattice is a little ugly," says Jack, walking into the room balancing a pie in one hand and a tub of shop-bought ice cream in the other, "and the ice-cream isn't homemade, but the important point is that I tried."

"Oh, honey, you've come a long way from when I first met you," says Bitty, laughing. He puts his phone away as Jack puts the desserts down in front of him. "I remember when you told me there was no room for pie in a hockey player's diet plan."

"There is no room for most pies in most hockey players' diet plans," Jack says, serving a slice of pie and a scoop of ice cream onto each of their plates. "There is however room for your pie in my diet plan." He pushes Bitty's plate towards him. "Please tell me it's edible."

Bitty takes a bite of the pie - the pastry is a little soggy and the filling is a little tart, but it's not too bad. He has to take into consideration that that it's the first pie Jack's made on his own and that Jack is an unbelievably attractive man.

That's very important for Bitty to consider in his judgement.

"It's good, Jack," he says, with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. " I mean, it's not as good as mine, of course, but it's good. I'll have a second piece when I'm done with this."

Jack laughs. Bitty can't help the goofy grin he gets on his face. Jack is so beautiful when he's happy. "I'll take it," Jack says, starting on his own dessert. "Even though I think you're being far too kind to me."

Bitty isn't sure what it is about this moment, maybe it's the fact that they're being so domestic, the fact that Jack is so damn comfortable here with Bitty, but he suddenly realises that this thing with Jack, it's real, it's happening and he wants it so much.

"Well that's what boyfriends are for right," says Bitty softly, looking down at the pie. Jack chokes and Bitty's eyes snap up to look at him. Lord, he had just thought... but maybe that's not what Jack wanted? "God, Jack, I'm sorry... I just assumed... I shouldn't've... You mustn't want..."

"No, Bits, it's okay," Jack says, holding up a placating hand. "I want to be boyfriends with you. Definitely. 100%"

Bitty exhales in relief. "Well, that's good, then," he says, smiling nervously.

"There's something I gotta tell you," says Jack, quietly.

Bitty can see the anxiety shimmering on Jack's face. He frowns. "What is it, Jack?" Bitty asks. "Is it that we can't be out? Because that's fine, Jack, really. I know it's not exactly easy to be an out-hockey player."

"No, although that too, I guess," Jack says. He takes a deep breath and looks Bitty straight in the eye. His eyes are so blue. "Bitty, I, uh... I'm married."

Everything stops.

Bitty knew it was too good to be true.

"You... what?" Bitty gasps out. He can't breathe. Jack's married? Jack kissed him, Jack wants to be his boyfriend, Jack made Bitty fall in love with him. How can he be married?

"It's not what you think," says Jack. He reaches forward like he wants to touch Bitty's hand and Bitty yanks it away. Jack can't touch him, not anymore

"How can it not be what I think?" Bitty says. He knows he sounds a little hysterical, but he can't bring himself to care. "You just said you were married how could you mean anything different from what I think?"

"It's not, like, a real marriage," says Jack. "I'm not in love him, I promise."

"A unhappy marriage is still a marriage, Jack Zimmermann," Bitty says, standing up. "I'm not going to help you cheat on your husband."

"No, no, no, that's not it," says Jack, standing up. Bitty's hasn't been self-conscious about his height since high school, but he feels tiny next to Jack right now. "He's just a friend. It's a marriage for health benefits. Bittle, please let me explain."

"A marriage for health benefits?" Bitty asks, incredulously. "What the hell is a marriage for health benefits?"

"Please, sit down," says Jack. "Give me ten minutes to explain. If you want to leave after that, then I'll let you go. Just let me explain, Bittle, please."

A huge part of Bitty wants to leave and never look back. He wants to go to Boston and make new friends and never even look at the NHL ever again. He's hurt and angry but, he still loves Jack. He still trusts Jack. Jack's his friend and he deserves to be heard.

"Okay," says Bitty, sitting down. "You've got ten minutes."

Jack takes a deep breath and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He taps it a few times and shows it to Bitty. It's a picture of Jack and a very attractive Chinese man in a teal coloured hoodie. He's little shorter than Jack, with spiky black hair and a big, warm smile. He looks like a perfect husband.

Bitty can feel his heart break just looking at him.

"This is Chris Chow," Jack explains. "The team calls him Chowder. He was a freshman when I was a senior at Samwell. He's a senior now, a co-captain even though he's the goalie. He's a great kid and an amazing player, hardworking, kind, loyal to his friends. He's made of sunshine, Bittle. Kinda like you."

Bitty knows that Jack just complimented him, but he can't really bring himself to care when Jack's husband is apparently the embodiment of everything good in the world. He can't stop looking at Chris Chow's smiling face.

"He's diabetic," Jack continues. "He usually can handle it pretty well, but the games can be hard for him. He has to monitor his time on the ice, make sure he has plenty of snacks handy so his blood sugar doesn't get too low, stuff like that, you know? Anyway, during the final game in my senior year, he, uh... he fainted on the ice. I was the captain and I knew he was playing too hard, I knew he needed a break but... he was so much better than our second-string goalie and I... I wanted to win."

Jack's voice cracks and Bitty finally looks away from Chris Chow to glance up at Jack. Jack's crying, his eyes fixed on the photo on his phone.

"Jack..." Bitty starts. He doesn't know how to continue the thought. He doesn't know what to say.

"He had to go to hospital, Bittle," says Jack. "The whole team were in the waiting room. We thought he mightn't make it out. No game was worth that."

Jack takes a deep breath and wipes at his eyes.

"His parents couldn't really afford the hospital bill," he says. "I asked my parents to step in and they did. You know first hand how generous my dad is, eh? And, the Chows... They were so grateful. They shouldn't have been. It was my fault we were there in the first place."

"I don't think that was your fault," says Bitty, quietly. "He should have known when to stop playing."

Jack smiles, sadly. "That's what Chow said too," he says. "Maybe it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't change the fact that I should've done more for him. He was my teammate, my friend. I should have had his back and I didn't."

"So, what, you married him because you felt bad for hospitalizing him?" Bitty blurts out. He feels bad for the Chow, for Jack too, but he still doesn't understand why this event lead to Jack getting married.

"My contract with the Falcs included hospital cover and health insurance for me and my spouse, even for pre-existing conditions," Jack says. "I didn't offer it to Chowder because I felt guilty about the the game. I offered it because I was single and he needed the help and I never wanted to have to worry about him not being okay again."

Jack pauses. Bitty takes a moment to try and process the words, to really understand them. They're starting to make sense, but they're still a little hazy, blurry around the edges.

"And Chow, Chowder, Chris... He just accepted it?" Bitty asks. "He just married you, just like that?"

"Not at first," says Jack. "He thought it was dumb, but I convinced him eventually. It just made sense. We got married shortly after my graduation, our parents and our old college hockey team friends are the only people that know, except for you now."

"Was it worth it?" says Bitty. "Did marrying him change anything?"

"He hasn't had to be hospitalized since," says Jack. "The team keep a better eye out for him now than we used to. But my contract pays for his insulin too, which is helpful for him and his parents. And he's a lot less worried about what would happen if something went wrong. So it was worth it, I don't regret it. I just wish I could've done the same for him another way."

Bitty takes a deep breath. "I feel... I just feel like it's a lot," says Bitty. "I know he was your friend, but for you to want to protect him that much... I can't help but feel like there had to be more to your feelings."

"My friends say I do everything at 110%," says Jack. "I know it was a bit much, but I felt it was something I had to do. But I promise, I've never been romantically interested in Chowder. He's like a little brother to me. And he's never had feelings for me either. He's actually been dating this girl for the past... year and a bit, I guess? Her name is Farmer, she plays volleyball for Samwell. They're really cute together, actually. She's so good for him."

Jack swipes through his phone until he finds a picture of Chow with a tall girl with brown hair.

"That's her," Jack says. "And, uh, I told them about you. They want to meet you, try to make you feel a bit better about this. If you're still interested in doing this, that is."

The thing is, Bitty still likes Jack. He still wants Jack but... It still doesn't feel right. Regardless of the circumstances, Jack's married to someone else. Bitty can't date a man that's married to someone else.

"I don't know, Jack," he says. "I don't think I could date someone that's married to someone else. It doesn't feel right."

Jack sighs. "Okay," he says. "If that's how you feel then, I understand. I just... I like you so much, Bitty, and I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed me to be. You can go, if you want. I won't bother you again."

Bitty stands up to leave again. Jack stays seated, slumped in his chair, his head in his hands, defeated. Bitty nods, turns to walk away but something stops him. He's an idiot. Why can't he just let this go?

"You said Chow and his girlfriend go to Samwell?" Bitty says. "So they could come up to Boston for dinner one night?"

Jack looks up. His blue eyes are so bright and hopeful. He's so beautiful.

"Yes," he says. "Absolutely."

Bitty nods. "Call me when you're in Boston next, okay?" says Bitty. "Bring them with you. We'll have dinner."

Jack exhales. "Yes, okay," he says. "Thank you."

Bitty nods at him and leaves. His heart still feels like it's going to burst.

He calls Holster as he starts the short walk back to his old apartment.

It's going to be a long night.

* * *

 Over the year and a half she's been dating Chris Chow, Farmer's done a lot of weird things for his friends. She's modeled naked for Lardo, and played wing-woman for Ollie and Wicky, even participated in an elaborate and dramatic flash-mob for Nursey. Even so, agreeing to meet a strange man alone in a bar in Boston for her boyfriend's husband, NHL star Jack Laurent Zimmermann, might just be the weirdest thing she's ever done.

C's still at the hotel room Jack got them, so Farmer turns on her location on her phone and sends it to him so he can track her before before she walks into the bar Eric Bittle asked her to meet him in. The aesthetic of this bar is a bit different to the Samwell bars, it's a lot brighter and therefore feels much less seedy. It's not too crowded, and so she easily spots Eric Bittle sitting alone at a table, typing quickly on his phone. He's got a glass of white wine in front of him so Farmer grabs a beer from the bar and walks up to him.

"Hi there," she says, putting her drink on the table. "You must be Eric."

Eric looks up and jumps to his feet. He's just shorter than she is, which means he must be tiny compared to Jack. That must be pretty cute. "You must be Caitlin," he says, smiling at her. His face is warm and welcoming, though his eyes look apprehensive. He holds out a hand to her. "You can call me Bitty, everyone else does."

"You can call me Farmer," Farmer says, shaking his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Bitty. Jack's told Chris and I so much about you."

"He's told me all about y'all as well," Bitty says. "You seem like real nice people."

Farmer takes a sip of her drink. She doesn't know how to respond. She feels so awkward. What is she supposed to say to Bitty? Is she supposed to make some pleasant small talk about Bitty's vlog or dive straight into the reason they're there?

God, C would be so much better at this than her. Why couldn't Bitty have wanted to meet him first?

Bitty shakes his head. "Lord, I'm sorry," he says. "I'm not usually this awkward. It's just... weird, I guess."

So they're going to dive straight into it then. Okay, Farmer can deal with that. "It's okay," she says, in a way she hopes sounds reassuring. "Objectively, it's a weird situation."

Bitty nods. "Yeah," he says. "Do you find it... weird?"

"I mean, I used to," says Farmer. "I felt so strange when C first told me. I mean, he insisted it was okay, that it was a purely platonic relationship but it still felt kinda off, you know? Like dating a married man made me dirty, or wrong."

Bitty nods. "That's exactly how I feel," he says. "Like Jack explained everything super well and it makes sense, but it still feels like something's just not right. I've wanted to be with Jack for so many months now, but I don't really know if I want him like this."

"That's completely understandable, Bitty," says Farmer, with a smile. "I guess for me, I felt better once I actually met Jack. He comes to watch the boys play hockey as often as he can so I met him not long after I found out about him and C. We were at a party after a game and it took like five minutes of hanging out with him and C to realise that their marriage really was completely platonic. And as I got to know Jack more I realised that Jack's just the kind of guy that would do anything for the people he cares about. He's really intense, but also really kind and generous. He's done so much for all of us."

Okay, so maybe she's laying on the praise a little too strongly but from the sounds of it, Jack needs all the help he can get on this. Besides, it's all true, Jack is an incredible guy.

"He's not married to all of y'all, though," Bitty says.

"I mean, true, but the rest of us don't have life-threatening chronic illnesses," says Farmer. "That, and I honestly think Jack still feels kind of guilty for C's hospitalization in freshman year, even though that was most definitely his own fault."

Bitty still looks unsure. Farmer reaches across the table to touch his hand.

"Just wait until you meet Chris, okay?" she says, softly. "You'll understand it when you see him. I might be biased, but he's the best person in the whole world. He deserves to be taken care of. I can help him with everything but the money, so it's good he has Jack to lean on financially."

"I'm sure Chris deserves it," says Bitty. "It's just hard to come to terms with it."

"I know, Bitty," Farmer says, squeezing his hand. "It's not something you can get used to in a day. But if you're willing to try, you'll understand why Jack did what he did. And I'm sorry if this is not my place, but Jack's worth it. He's an incredible person guy, and I know he likes you so much. I've never seen him as happy as he is when he's talking about you. Oh, and have you seen that ass? It just doesn't quit."

Bitty laughs a little awkwardly. His cheeks turn red. "It is a great ass," he says.

"Right?" Farmer laughs. "And, you know, C's graduating this year. He's got NHL scouts coming to games and if that doesn't work out then he'll have a degree in Computer Science to fall back on. I have several offers for internships next year with some pretty prestigious labs. It won't be long until C doesn't need Jack's insurance anymore. So it's not like this is a super permanent thing."

Bitty nods. "I guess I just need to think about all this some more" he says. "Take some more time to decide how I feel. But this has made me feel a little better, so thanks Farmer."

Farmer grins and pulls her hand back. "Got Your Back, Bitty," she says. Her phone buzzes on the table and she looks down to see their dinner reservation flashing on the screen. "The dinner reservation's in ten. Jack's probably already there - should we head off?"

"Yeah, okay," says Bitty. He knocks back the rest of his wine back and Farmer follows suit. He picks up a large backpack from the floor that Farmer hadn't noticed until now.

"Woah, what's in there?" Farmer asks.

Bitty blushes. "Dessert," he says as they start walking from the bar. "I, uh, was doing some research diabetes and found out most restaurants don't have great options. So, I thought I'd try some diabetic friendly versions of recipes from my show, y'all know I have a cooking show on TV, right?"

"Yeah Jack told us, we've been watching," says Farmer, as they cross the road. "We binge-watched your YouTube vlog too. Your food always looks so good. C's is gonna be so happy you've made some mods for him, I don't think I've ever seen him be so sad about not being able to eat sugar before."

Bitty smiles. "Maybe Chris could come on the vlog?" he suggests, quietly. "Once I've got the recipes worked out and we've sorted out... this."

"He'd love that," Farmer says.

They've reached the restaurant, and Bitty opens the door for Farmer to walk in. The restaurant is darker than the bar, and Jack's sitting at their usual table in the back, watching something on his phone. He's got a baseball cap pulled over his face in an attempt not to be recognised.

Farmer kind of still can't believe she so frequently hangs out with someone famous enough to be recognised.

"Hey, Jack," Bitty says, sliding into the chair next to him. Farmer nods at Jack as she sits in front of him.

"Oh, hey," says Jack, looking up from his phone. He grins at Bitty. Farmer barely suppresses her urge to squeal. She's never seen Jack this soft. "You've already met Farms. Great."

"I told you I was meeting her before dinner," says Bitty.

Jack frowns at him. "What?" he asks. "No, you told me you were meeting up with Cait..." Jack turns his head to stare at Farmer, his eyes wide, "...lin."

Farmer grins, wickedly. "Jack Laurent Zimmermann," she says, crossing her arms across her chest. "Did you forget my name?"

"No," Jack says. "I, uh, forgot that your name wasn't Farmer."

Farmer and Bitty laugh. Jack pouts.

"In my defense, when was the last time anyone even called you Caitlin?" Jack asks.

"Uh, Bitty did when he met me," says Farmer. "And my little sister Brooke said it on the phone this morning, and C said it last night when we..."

"Hey!" Chris says, suddenly appearing and interrupting her story. He slides into the booth next to her. "Sorry, am I'm late? You're Eric - Farmer and I watch your show! I'm Chris, you can call me Chowder. Oh, can we call you Bitty?"

Farmer actually sees the nerves and tension leave Bitty's body, the way his mouth quirks into a fond smile. She grins. C's enthusiasm is infectious. She knew he'd win Bitty over instantly.

"You can call me Bitty," says Bitty. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Chowder."

Chris flashes a huge smile at Bitty. "It's great to meet you too! I feel like I already know you after watching your show and vlog! Your food always looks amazing even though I can't eat most of it, because I'm diabetic, you know? But..."

Farmer glances at Jack. His eyes are flickering between Chris and Bitty, a slight frown creasing his forehead. She gently presses her toes against Jack's leg under the table. He turns to look at her, and raises an eyebrow. She inclines her head slightly towards Bitty and Chris, and nods at Jack once. Jack exhales in relief and nods back.

They're going to be fine.

* * *

 

> **\---SAMWELL SQUAD---  
> ** Jack Zimmermann:  
>  So I got news.
> 
> **Oliver O'Meara:**  
>  You're starting an Instagram for your ass?
> 
> **Pacer Wicks:**  
>  People's magazine want to do an exclusive on your ass?
> 
> **Shitty Knight:**  
>  The Falc's have finally decided to sell merch based on your ass?
> 
> **Jack Zimmermann:**  
>  What? No.  
>  I'm dating someone :)
> 
> **Shitty Knight:**  
>  YOU'RE CHEATING ON CHOWDER?
> 
> **Larissa Duan:**  
>  Bro
> 
> **Justin Oluransi:**  
>  Bro
> 
> **Derek Nurse:**  
>  Actually, I heard C's been messing around with some chick on the volleyball team?
> 
> **Shitty Knight:**  
>  True love is dead.
> 
> **Jack Zimmermann:**  
>  I hate every single one of you.  
>  Except Chowder.  
>  Obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> Sass' actual prompt was: a fic with a "fake marriage for health benefits" where in a stunning turn of events they are not secretly pining for each other and both meet other people they wanna be with.  
> My actual response was: what's a marriage for health benefits????
> 
> @ america - sort yourself out.


End file.
